My big sister @tiupps turned eighteen today. There is a never ending list of things I love about her but I chose eighteen cause she turned eighteen.. get it? Here is what I love about you babe:
  1. Your baby voice
    She is scarily good at imitating a toddler and she does it so often I've actually grown quite fond of it.
  2. Your knowledge of the vagina
    On top of the general knowledge you obtain with having a vagina she knows so much about them that I'm 100% sure she could teach an impromptu Sex Ed course at any giving moment. She also can't help but share all of her vagina related facts with me, thus making me seem smarter than I am during my actual Sex Ed courses.
  3. Your Macbeth voice
    She will randomly start explaining the plot of Macbeth in her "Macbeth Voice" which is just her yelling as hard as she can with a hint of a accent. Which accent? I'm not sure.
  4. Your Othello Voice
    It is the exact same as her Macbeth voice... the EXACT same.
  5. Your irrational hatred for Bobby Flay
    She hates Bobbly Flay with a burning passion. She is also convinced he is sexually attracted to/ has had sexual intercourse with chipotle peppers. It's fucking hilarious.
  6. Your frustration with the Food Network
    She loves cooking shows, but I've never seen her swear so much than when she's watching an episode of "Chopped." Like when someone doesn't transform one of the ingredients she goes batshit crazy.
  7. Your overwhelming love/ knowledge of films
    She can talk film all day and she's not even bullshitting. Her knowledge on camera work, screenplays, and plot development is outstanding. She is so much fun to analyze films with she keeps the conversation fun and never runs out of great things to contribute to the conversation.
  8. Your turkey skills
    She has cooked two jizz worthy turkeys.
  9. Your ability to sleep through any alarm
    She can sleep through anything. Her alarms are meaningless, I turn them off every morning. Once when we were sleeping over at the aquarium with Girl Guides the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night and we had to carry her out, still unconscious, because no one was capable of waking her up.
  10. Your eyebrows
    She has the best eyebrows I have ever laid eyes on. They are thick, but not bushy and have an impeccable arch. Like look at them.
  11. Your eyeliner
    Her wings are so sharp they could cut a bitch.
  12. Your I don't give a fuck attitude
    I envy this more than anything. She is so calm all of the time and never sweats the little things. She wings everything and still does better than everyone else. She truly couldn't care less about what people think of her. She is such a badass.
  13. Your tooth that's lower than the other
    She has one tooth that got shaved down a little too far and is now shorter than the other. It is adorable.
  14. Your appreciation for music
    This girl loves music with her whole heart. She has an appreciation for basically every genre and the impact that music has on the world. She just genuinely loves music and its so endearing.
  15. Your interest in comedy
    She has grown up watching a variety of mainstream and obscure comedy. She watched movies like Knocked Up and Borat when she was nine and was watching Mad T.V, Chappelle's Show and SNL when she was five. It has remained as one of her main interests and is something we both discuss non stop. She is also so so so funny I swear she could be a stand up comedian.
  16. Your ability to recite random pieces of poetry
    She read so much Edgar Allan Poe when she was ten that the teachers had to talk to my parents about her "concerning silent reading choices." She now has several poems committed to memory and recites them whenever she pleases. She recites El Dorado like, once a week.
  17. Your ability to flawlessly integrate curse words into your sentences
    She can fit the c word into any sentence and make it sound like it's supposed to be there. It is truly a gift and unbelievable to witness.
  18. Your laugh
    It is the best noise my ears have ever heard. It is loud, bubbly, genuine and oh so contagious. It makes every joke 10x funnier and I am never prouder than when I say something that's worthy of that laugh.