STUPID THINGS I DID TO IMPRESS BOYS IN MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL

Upon a deep reflection of my teen years, I did a lot of stupid stuff for guys who were evidently fuckboys
  1. Got my braces off months earlier than I should have because I thought more boys would want to make out with me (slightly true)
  2. Pretended to really like Boondock Saints even though I had never seen it
  3. Wore checkered Vans and black Chuck Taylors with angsty doodles on them because my crush's crush wore them
  4. Got really, really passionate about Bright Eyes over one weekend and listened to so much of Conor Oberst screeching I considered self harm
  5. Shit talked other girls to be "one of the boys" :(
  6. Pretended like I was an ~occasional stoner~ even though I had never touched weed in my life to not seem like a prude to a boy/dealer I desperately hoped would take me to prom because I had just gone through a break up (he realized this quickly and my date ended up being someone so much better) (TAKE YOUR FRIENDS TO PROM ALWAYS)
  7. Ordered a lot of salads on dates when I wanted the burger :'(
  8. Wore a thong once even though I am vehemently opposed to them
  9. Let a boyfriend change a preset radio station in my car to some terrifying heavy metal screamo thing that I couldn't escape until after my car was totaled years later
  10. Constantly talked about how I was getting texts from other boys (to make it clear how ~in demand~ I was) (ugh)
  11. Didn't admit to working out when I lost weight because I wanted to seem like an effortlessly cool thin girl who never ate