1. Pete and I met when he was a fuckboy.
  2. I called him my Holmey.
  3. I used to call him on his cell phone.
  4. He never paid me back for things. He was horrible about this.
  5. I didn't know what to do so we split. I stayed home and ate a lot of Comte. A lot. Comte.
  6. I started playing with make up as a creative exercise. I built a website. An empire really.
  7. I named it Violet Grey
  8. Because, well you know, that is the color of your poo when you eat a shit ton of Comte.
  9. Anyway, Pete call me. I'll give you my venmo info.
    Mild thirst.