Why I May Be British
Inspired by @pili_ervin There's so many reasons to be British, this may be a series.
- •Because my grandma.
- •She's British. Was British.
- •I went to England with her when I was 16.This is my passport. Amazingly this picture was already in my phone.
- •Her accent came back.Fierce. And then I developed one. What? That's crazy. Also amazing in the box of stuff I have of hers. She kept the Pan Am ticket.
- •One night we stayed in a tiny inn in Slough.You can only see the humour in this if you have been to Slough but I would never wish that upon you. (Tiny Inn in Slough -my new favorite sentence)
- •In this tiny inn in Slough, while my grandma slept in the bed adjacent to mine snoring, I couldn't sleep.I quietly turned on the TV. Because that is how I dealt with insomnia at home.
- •On the TV were two gentlemen.
- •One said "My Doctor gave me a pill that's one hundred feet long."This isn't the exact quote but I don't remember exactly what he said too imply that it was the biggest effing pill ever. Because he was British he may not have said feet. Centimeters. 100 centimeters is still pretty big. If you are not familiar with the metric system you can find a nice meters to feet converter online like I did when I added to the how tall are you list. I thought using centimeters was funny you guys probably thought I was European. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
- •The other man said "One hundred feet, how do you swallow it?"Also not a direct quote but the gist.
- •Now this is where the first guy throws down the punchline ....
- •You don't swallow it...
- •It's a suppository.
- •Oh my!I laughed so hard I fell out of bed, the authorities came and took my US Passport. So I had to be British. I lived at the tiny inn in Slough and had to make breakfast for the guests. They always said that I burnt the toast.
- •I have attempted to find a clip of this joke in years past because it stayed with me. But I am unsuccessful. If you can help ...
- •I found this ...http://youtu.be/ZFD01r6ersw so it is my gift to you.
- •This whole list was inspired by a very special memory. Thanks @pili_ervinI was so happy you made me go through that little box of my grandma's belongings.