Awkward Dating & Post-Breakup Experiences I've Had

My hope is I lived it so you don't have to
  1. Didn't know my ex had transferred to my school until I walked into the student center to see him performing a song we used to make out to
  2. After we broke up he got a tattoo of a troll doll in his armpit
    Like so his armpit hair was the troll's hair
  3. Went on a blind date with a guy who told me he had been force-fed vegetables as a child by an abusive babysitter
    Really wished I hadn't ordered a salad
  4. Asked me to be his girlfriend with a series of extravagant gestures more fitting for a marriage proposal, the finale being a bunch of people singing "Lucky" by Jason Mraz to me on my front porch
    A year after this he was married to someone else
  5. Ghosted on him after the second date, during which he gave me a mason jar of homegrown honey
    Still feel guilty about the ghosting part, but not enough to not use the honey
  6. Dragged me to Applebee's while I was still recovering from an appendectomy, then wanted me to go get his wallet from his car
    Thought he was kidding, but he actually left his wallet in his car and actually had me hobble out to get it. Realized when I came back that he had been going through my phone while I was gone
  7. Didn't know he thought we were dating until he sent me a relationship request on fb
    Accepted it to avoid clarifying that I thought he had just asked me if we could go on a date sometime
  8. Thought it was just a casual set-up while he was in town visiting a mutual friend
    Later found out the guy came all the way to NJ from Boston JUST for the date after seeing me in a pic with said mutual friend and asking him to set us up. Spotted him at a retreat months later and managed to avoid him until we ended up in the same elevator together. Realizing this might be the reason I've opted for stairs ever since.
  9. Realized he was gay
    Still the best boyfriend I've ever had