Things My Dad Has Said

Such a dad
  1. "You know that song Halo? By Beyoncé? Well, she is so good. Her voice is amazing."
  2. "I'd like to see Adele foot race Martha Stewart."
  3. "She's [my mother] a smelly bitch. Jk, love her."
  4. "Whose socks are these laying under the coffee table?"
  5. "Why is it that the lights are always on in rooms that you aren't in?"
  6. "Stay hydrated and have a banana."
  7. "Sports are really good today."