FAV ASPECTS OF THE HAMBURG, PA REPTILE EXPO

  1. Entrance
    You haven't seen anything until you've seen dudes in Slipknot hoodies exiting a warehouse with their front handwarmer pockets writhing because they just bought a snake and shoved it in there without a box or anything.
  2. Backpack tarantulas
    Dudes wandering around the expo, opening their backpacks just enough to peek into and whining, "Aw man, you don' wanna buy no tarantula?" And they're trying to sell tarantulas to the vendors -- kinda like trying to sell your own froyo to pinkberry. Pretty sweet that their linkedin probably says "Spider Salesperson" though.
  3. Pregnant women
    Way more pregnant women than you'd expect to see at a reptile expo. Two were drinking Surge.
  4. Pencil snakes
    These are snakes as small as paper clips. Not sure what people do with them -- but the snakes seem chill as hell.
  5. Pinkies & fuzzies
    Baby mice without and with fur. Your lexicon is now complete?
  6. If you stick around until the next weekend, I think the convention center converts into semi-professional professional wrestling arena