HOW TO PREPARE FOR A VISIT FROM @dev AND @Grosstastic

Oh fuck, I've got like two hours
  1. Vacuum
  2. Hide my secret plans for "TheNoteApp"
    Coming Soon!
  3. Buy a child
    Any ideas on this one? The whole "we have a baby" thing started as a joke then took on a life of its own
  4. Hide the dead bodies of other social media founders who visited our apartment
    Don't worry, we got a walk-in closet *humblebrag*
  5. Do dishes
  6. Scrub blood from floor
    So much blood!
  7. Delete all non-Dev-created social media from phone
  8. Make sure Halley's episode of Banshee is playing on a loop the entire time
    She gets so mad when it isn't!
  9. Make bed
  10. Teach tricks to bought child
    "Roll over" should impress them, right?
  11. Buy all the scotch
    Fun fact: Dev won't walk into an apartment that doesn't have all the scotch
  12. UPDATE FOR @mandi
    Pretty cute, right? Wasn't cheap.