"I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" IS A SONG ABOUT A LAZY, FLAKY JERK

In order to even out the praise I gave "Baby, It's Cold Outside," please warm yourselves by the fire of this Christmas song hot take
  1. "I'll be home for Christmas/You can plan on me/Please have snow and mistletoe/And presents by the tree... I'll be home for Christmas/If only in my dreams"
  2. So let me get this straight. This asshole says, "Yeah, I'm totally coming to Christmas. Plan on it. Go out of our way to buy presents for me and also get some snow from outside, I guess. I'm totally coming home for Christmas...even if I don't actually show up."
  3. FUCK YOU, SINGER
  4. Update: It has come to my attention that this song was written in honor of servicemen during World War 2. I maintain that nobody in the modern age sings it using this context. This is a hot take. Emotions matter over facts.