JEWISH ATHLETES I WAS TOLD TO BE PROUD OF

And you were, too
  1. Hank Greenberg
    The gold standard of Jewish athletes because most goys have never heard of him, and he did something memorably Jew-y (sat out a game of the World Series because of Yom Kippur).
  2. Sandy Koufax
    Probably the actual best Jewish athlete ever. Also sat out a game of the World Series because of Yom Kippur. Can you imagine if this happened today? Twitter would be a full-on anti-Semitic wasteland (more than usual).
  3. Dolph Schayes
    Was a 12-time all star in a time when a 6"7 Jewish guy could be a 12-time all star.
  4. Danny Schayes
    Son of Dolph! Had a career pretty much in line with what one would expect of a tall Jewish guy in the modern NBA (career averages of 8 points and 5 rebounds), though he did play for a shocking 18 years. According to Wikipedia, he starred in an advertisement for the Anti-Defamation League, in which he slam dunked and the tag line was, "If you really believe in America, prejudice is foul play!" I cannot imagine a less sensical image/tagline combo.
  5. Mark Spitz
    Was the coolest kid on the block until some douchebro named Phelps came in and broke all his records. Basically a metaphor for Judaism and Christianity.
  6. Omri Casspi
    Just kidding. Israelis don't count.
  7. Jordan Farmar
    Just kidding. No one is proud of Jordan Farmar. Also, I originally misread this accompanying image as saying "Jewish Jordan," which I thought was hilarious.
  8. Shawn Green
    On the LA Dodgers during my childhood. Missed a playoff game for Yom Kippur.
    Suggested by   @Becca
  9. Amare Stoudemire
    Recently discovered distant ancestors who were part of the tribe. Visited Israel, converted, and is a devout Jew to this day. Originally drafted out of high school, he is a veteran member of the NBA with multiple all star game appearances.
    Suggested by   @Jed
  10. David (of David and Goliath fame)
    The prototype for all Jewish athletes, smaller, slower, and seemingly outgunned, he still managed to triumph on the day.
    Suggested by   @gilbaron
  11. Rod Carew
    Doesn't anyone remember Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song?
    Suggested by   @Larry
  12. Kevin Youuuuuuuukilis
    He isn't Greek but a Jew. And Denis Leary gives one of his best rants of all time about Youk and his Tribe Membership. http://bit.ly/1M6m0l6
    Suggested by   @donnie
  13. Ryan Braun
    That cheating-juicing-piece-of-shit is still *OUR* cheating-juicing-piece-of-shit.
    Suggested by   @donnie
  14. Jody Sheckter-Formula one driver
    Suggested by   @dyl40011