And you were, too
  1. Hank Greenberg
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    The gold standard of Jewish athletes because most goys have never heard of him, and he did something memorably Jew-y (sat out a game of the World Series because of Yom Kippur).
  2. Sandy Koufax
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    Probably the actual best Jewish athlete ever. Also sat out a game of the World Series because of Yom Kippur. Can you imagine if this happened today? Twitter would be a full-on anti-Semitic wasteland (more than usual).
  3. Dolph Schayes
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    Was a 12-time all star in a time when a 6"7 Jewish guy could be a 12-time all star.
  4. Danny Schayes
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    Son of Dolph! Had a career pretty much in line with what one would expect of a tall Jewish guy in the modern NBA (career averages of 8 points and 5 rebounds), though he did play for a shocking 18 years. According to Wikipedia, he starred in an advertisement for the Anti-Defamation League, in which he slam dunked and the tag line was, "If you really believe in America, prejudice is foul play!" I cannot imagine a less sensical image/tagline combo.
  5. Mark Spitz
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    Was the coolest kid on the block until some douchebro named Phelps came in and broke all his records. Basically a metaphor for Judaism and Christianity.
  6. Omri Casspi
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    Just kidding. Israelis don't count.
  7. Jordan Farmar
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    Just kidding. No one is proud of Jordan Farmar. Also, I originally misread this accompanying image as saying "Jewish Jordan," which I thought was hilarious.
  8. Shawn Green
    On the LA Dodgers during my childhood. Missed a playoff game for Yom Kippur.
    Suggested by @Becca
  9. Amare Stoudemire
    Recently discovered distant ancestors who were part of the tribe. Visited Israel, converted, and is a devout Jew to this day. Originally drafted out of high school, he is a veteran member of the NBA with multiple all star game appearances.
    Suggested by @Jed
  10. David (of David and Goliath fame)
    The prototype for all Jewish athletes, smaller, slower, and seemingly outgunned, he still managed to triumph on the day.
    Suggested by @gilbaron
  11. Rod Carew
    Doesn't anyone remember Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song?
    Suggested by @Larry
  12. Kevin Youuuuuuuukilis
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    He isn't Greek but a Jew. And Denis Leary gives one of his best rants of all time about Youk and his Tribe Membership.
    Suggested by @donnie
  13. Ryan Braun
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    That cheating-juicing-piece-of-shit is still *OUR* cheating-juicing-piece-of-shit.
    Suggested by @donnie
  14. Jody Sheckter-Formula one driver
    Suggested by @dyl40011