This list is going to go great!
  1. Miss Elizabeth
    Died at age 43 of a drug overdose. Oh shit, that's depressing. Hey, what about Macho Man's other manager?
  2. Sensational Sherri
    Died of a drug overdose at age 49. Well, shit. Hey, what about that lady who used to manage Dusty Rhodes? She seemed pretty together!
  3. Sapphire
    Died of a heart attack at age 61. Oh...well, how about the guy managers? Maybe that will go better!
  4. Mr. Fuji
    Confined to a wheelchair and taking tickets at a movie theater. Okay, pretty depressing, but he's still alive! That's cool!
  5. Paul Bearer
    Died at age 58 of a heart attack. Oh, goddammit! Let's move a little bit later into the '90s...
  6. Chyna
    Released sex tape, went into porn, multiple rehab stints, definite untreated mental illness. Still alive, though! So, yay! Who's next? UPDATE: No longer alive
  7. Sunny
    Multiple DUI arrests and subsequent stints in jail, many rehab stints, now working as a cam girl on Skype. Hey, apparently, she's making a ton of money on Skype, so who am I to judge, but everything else is incredibly depressing...but again, still alive! Who's next?!? UPDATE: Now a hardcore porn star
  8. Woman (yes, that was her name)
    Murdered at age 43 (along with her young son) by her husband, wrestling superstar Chris Benoit...I there anybody who did remotely okay in this business permeated by tragedy?
  9. Sable
    Married Brock Lesnar and is incredibly rich. Before we get too excited, this is Brock Lesnar...
  10. Brock Lesnar
    Could you imagine having sex with that man? Other than having sex with an actual criminal, I couldn't imagine a more terrifying sexual experience. HOWEVER, Sable still wins the best case scenario award!
  11. WINNER: Sable!!!!
    I need a drink.