THINGS YOUR BABYSITTER WILL LEARN ABOUT YOU

At least when they're babysitting your baby/toddler
  1. What you look like when you're unshowered, bleary-eyed, and underdressed
    Not your best self!
  2. How little food you remembered to have in the house
    "If you're hungry, you can have...this jar of peanut butter!"
  3. How your parenting philosophy differs from that of your significant other
    "Really? She told you to do that? Oh..."
  4. What the hell it is you do all day
    Pretend to write! Sometimes nap!
  5. All the "rules" you're "breaking" in regards to sleep, playtime, cell phone, TV...
  6. How much toilet paper you remembered to have in the house
    "We have, um, tissues?"
  7. What your house looks like when a tornado hit it
    "I swear it was presentable five minutes ago"
  8. How your house is a death trap
    "can you just keep him away from there, there, there, and there? If possible, it would be great if you don't blink."
  9. Your Netflix history
    He only watches Daniel Tiger & Puffin Rock! I swear!
    Suggested by   @jessnobs
  10. How stressed you get when you're ready to go and your spouse still has to change their clothes and freshen up
    Suggested by   @mallofamanda
  11. How much he drooled on the furniture as a toddler
    Because the couch and ottoman looks like someone tried to draw a map on it, but it's just darker from where he drooled and we gave up and never got around to cleaning it again for the hundredth time.
    Suggested by   @wilmotwrites
  12. How clever you are with your WiFi password.
    Just do better than "password"🙄
    Suggested by   @BWN_7