FIVE THINGS I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND EVEN THOUGH I'M AN ADULT

I have a general idea of how this stuff works, but I don't think I could explain them without sounding like Miss Teen South Carolina.
  1. The stock market
    There's a lot of screaming on the floor of the stock exchange. There are bells going off. Numbers are going up and down. And somehow all of that affects my Roth IRA.
  2. How this list goes from my phone to yours.
    I use the interwebs, but how this whole thing works is still a mystery the answer to which Bill Gates will take to his grave.
  3. How cameras and microphones are positioned in a way that we never see them in the TV show or movie.
    I know it's all about editing, but it's still pretty magical.
  4. Why it took so long for Hanes to make tagless t-shirts.
    We landed on the moon in '69, but we couldn't conquer non-itchy t-shirts until the 21st century.
  5. The proper temperature for clearing condensation off my windshield.
    Wipers. Defrost. Hot air. Cold air. Rinse. Repeat. Nothing works. But hey, I have a voice coming out of my dash telling me the precise moment to turn left, so I guess it doesn't matter that I can't see six feet in front of the car.