Notable Log Entries in the Starfleet Archives

Not in chronometer order
  1. Captain's Log Stardate 3045.8: Just returned to the Enterprise after being forced by the Metrons to fight a Gorn. Thankfully, the planet had bamboo, diamonds and the raw materials to make gunpowder. Tonight we feast on lizard!
  2. First Officer's Log Stardate 5943.9: During my time lost in Sarpeidon's ice age, I fell in love with a beautiful redhead named Zarabeth and ravished her on a bearskin on a cave floor. I've definitely been hanging out with Captain Horn Dog way too long.
  3. Captain's Log Stardate 41153.9: I have taken command of the new Enterprise-D. So far my crew consists of a Klingon, a blind man, a robot, a buxom counselor, a teen boy with daddy issues and that Stanley Hazard guy from North and South. Fuggin' Starfleet hates me!
  4. Ensign's Log Stardate 45208.2: Returning from the Academy to visit the Enterprise, I had a random hook up with space hottie Ashley Judd. Ashley Freaking Judd! Needless to say, we took the ole shuttlecraft out for a spin!
  5. Captain's Log Stardate 3142.1: The Enterprise just dropped Khan Noonien Singh and his band of merry superhumans off on Ceti Alpha V. Glad we've seen the last of that self-important prick!