Thoughts while using a self-service check-out

  1. Yeah, I've got less than 20 items. If you don't count each apple individually, that is!
  2. Can't believe they let me do this.
  3. Fucking love that bleep. Why are people on the tills so miserable? Doing this all day would be cool!
  4. It can seemingly read the barcode from any angle.
  5. I should really be exploiting this trust given to me.
  6. I bet loads of people steal shit.
  7. They must expect it.
  8. They must factor it in.
  9. They have to.
  10. I wouldn't.
  11. Okay, apples. No barcode. I'm going in. Deep into the OS of this computer. I'm telling the computer what apples I have. I could lie and say I have the cheap apples.
  12. It can't possibly tell which apples I have.
  13. Though I do have the cheap apples.
  14. So that's fucked then.
  15. Next time I could get the pink lady apples and tell the computer they're braeburns.
  16. Next time.
  17. Bet everybody does that.
  18. That's why they have better cars than me.
  19. I'm too honest. But karma will repay me. Be a good person, Jamie. Just be a good person.
  20. Shit, this wine has made a red light flash. Gotta wait for age-approval. This will probably ta- Nope here she is with her magic key.
  21. God, she looks especially miserable and harassed. I think she looked at my apples. Phew, dodged a bullet. Why so sad, lady?
  22. Probably because she doesn't get to scan stuff.
  23. Thanks! Okay, that's me.
  24. Gotta pay before I pack or the alarm will go off again. Because scales. RETURN ITEM TO SCALES it'll demand. Once bitten...
  25. Stuff it in a bag. Wine first. Apples next because they're heavy.
  26. Fucking stand up you fucking bottle of wine, reeling around in there like I will be later. Apples should prop it up.
  27. I'm trying to take my stuff and not forget my receipt.
  28. I'M TRYING.
  29. No, thank YOU.