she's the best
  1. "I'm trolling to see if (publishing company *redacted*) has had any layoffs"
  2. "I'm not all here today, I've had too much exercise"
    we've all been there
  3. "Can I talk to you later? I'm listening to Serial"
    only home for a weekend....but whatever works for you!
  4. "Play monster mash! Mindy Kaling played it on her show!"
  5. Daughter #2: "here's my question: you know those planes that are going straight up into the air with the smoke behind them? What are those?" Mom: "STD's! ... wait no"
  6. "Pipe cleaners are a must for this"
    Halloween advisement
  7. *scrolling through her contacts* "I have Luisa's (pizza), Paco's Tacos, I need to add Maharani (Indian food)..."
    takeout at her fingertips
  8. Mom: (8 pm on a Sunday) "Today has not felt like a Saturday all day. It feels like Sunday" India: "today is Sunday"
    Suggested by @india