PLACES I CAN'T EVEN PRETEND TO FIT IN

It's a hard-knock life for a small, hypochondriac unathletic Asian-American woman.
  1. Tattoo parlor
    You don't have to look at me long to realize it's not a good idea to poke me with needles.
  2. Any non-Starbucks coffee establishment
    Can I get a grande.. I mean.. Medium-big-ish cup of... Uhhhh..... water?
  3. Designer stores
    They can smell that I'm not one of them. And my TJ Maxx wallet shouts, "there's no money in here! Just a Safeway rewards card and a bunch of coffee shop loyalty stamp cards!"
  4. Organic food places
    If you ever see me looking intently trying to pick out the best produce, it's 100% a show for you. I have no idea what I'm doing.
  5. Hot yoga class
    I've been three times. I've forgotten a mat twice, dropped and broke my water bottle once, and I always take the "optional" water break and child's pose chill sesh. Rest ain't optional for this yogi.
  6. Parties
    Literally any party.