THINGS I'VE MADE MY HUSBAND PROMISE ME

I force him into unreasonable but necessary oaths often.
  1. "Promise me that I'll die first."
    I'll cry every day if Drew dies before me, and won't remarry despite my many admirers that will likely sprout up from my past.
  2. "Promise me that when I die first, you won't remarry anyone younger or cuter than me."
    Self-explanatory.
  3. "Promise me we can leave the party when I want to."
    He has yet to keep this one. He's an engaging, slow exiter with social grace. I'm a self-proclaimed ghoster who wants to leave every party almost immediately.
  4. "Promise me you'll never watch any of our shows without me."
    The DVR will give you away and I will not allow you to give our daughter away at her wedding.
  5. "Promise me you'll always clean the floors."
    I'll literally clean the rest of our house with a toothbrush if I don't have to clean the floors.
  6. "Promise me we'll never get a cat."
    It would go against everything I stand for.