PLACES I'VE PEED OUTSIDE
- •On the outer wall of an office building right before a job interview.I did not get the job.
- •On the back tire of my Toyota Corolla while my mom and dad looked the other way.We were taking a road trip. It was west Texas at midnight. Running further away was too scary.
- •In a field in Enugu, Nigeria outside of an outhouse.It was by the house where my dad grew up. But sorry, Dad, the outhouse smelt bad.
- •On a hill behind several "fraternity" houses.They all say "fraternity" instead of "frat," because "you wouldn't call your country a cunt, would you?" Ugh.
- •In an alley near L'as du Falafel in Paris.I know they have self-cleaning public restrooms all over the city. I know. But I just can't go in them, desolée.
- •In a pool.Come on. We've all done it, don't pretend otherwise.
- •Behind a dumpster in New York during upfronts with two newly minted showrunners, while holding a pizza.The pizza place had no public toilets, so we made the public our toilet.
- •On the beach, outside a nightclub in Barcelona that wouldn't let me and my friends in because it was "too early," plus we were wearing shorts.It was 1am.
- •There are more places, I'm sure, but this is what comes to mind right now.