REASONS MY STOMACH HURTS
- •I ate too much cheese.And all other lactose-related reasons.
- •I drank too much coffee.
- •I've been poisoned by badly washed legumes or vegetables.
- •Too many spices.
- •I drank chai tea without adding soy or almond milk.Don't know why, but straight chai rarely agrees with me. Probably because it's got too many spices.
- •I just heard a story about a bone breaking and pushing through the skin.Or murder. Or rape. Or suicide. Or a high level of social injustice. Basically anything on Law and Order SVU or the 10 o'clock news.
- •I'm on my period.