THE FORGETFUL DIVORCÉE

I promised this list to @lame a long time ago when I mentioned in a list that I forgot I had been married once before
  1. I was roughly 22 years old
  2. Putting myself through college by waitressing at Legal Seafoods
  3. We had a ton of Brazilian Busboys and Dishwashers
    And they were all delightful
  4. At our restaurant the Haitian and Brazilians were given jobs as Dishwashers, Bussers and Barbacks but never got to the high paying Waiting jobs.
  5. One of the my fellow waitresses had married one of the brazilians so he could stay in the country.
  6. I told her I thought that was pretty cool.
  7. She recommended it as a course of action
    I didn't disagree with her.
  8. I was outraged that it was so easy for White Europeans to immigrate legally, but not for any other group.
  9. Next thing I knew she presents me with my future husband.
  10. This was in the eighties, right before immigration began to crack down on this type of thing.
  11. His first name was Wanderley.
    Best name ever.
  12. He was so sweet.
  13. So I married him.
  14. In front of a Justice of the Peace/Travel Agent and my two best friends.
    I laughed hysterically through the whole thing.
  15. Afterwards Wanderley had to go to his other job. I went to dinner with my friends.
  16. Wanderley told me that he would like to date me as well as be married to me.
    I was hella cute back then.
  17. I told him that I would prefer to wait until divorce to begin dating.
  18. First thing he was able to do was get his Social Security number.
    This was a big deal.
  19. About a year after marriage he came and told me he'd been pulled in by immigration because he'd gone down there to help a friend.
  20. They questioned him about our marriage and he couldn't even remember most of what he'd told them.
  21. We went to see an immigration attorney who told us we were now in for a tough interview process where we would be considered under suspicion.
    This type of interview is now the norm.
  22. The lawyer began grilling me on details of our marriage even though he knew damn well what we were up to
  23. I turned bright, bright red and began sweating.
  24. A few days later I admitted to Wanderley that I could not go through with the interview process
    While I am capable of telling a lie, I knew I wasn't capable of lying with my whole life. We could have potentially been arrested for fraud.
  25. I felt so bad for letting Wanderley down, but he understood. He agreed that he couldn't lie that well either.
  26. Because he had his social security number he didn't need his green card all that much.
  27. I moved to New Mexico for a few years and when I got back to Boston, Wanderley had a girlfriend and babies.
  28. He said he'd like to get divorced before the twins were old enough to ask if he was married to their Mom.
  29. He was going to get a lawyer but I said no I think I can handle this.
  30. And I did. Three months later we appeared before the judge and were divorced.
  31. We were probably the only couple who left the courtroom that day laughing and smiling.
  32. I'm glad I did it. Wanderley was a better person than most "Americans" I knew.
    He worked two or three jobs at a time and still went to Church every Sunday.