THOUGHTS ON BATMAN V. SUPERMAN

So Batman V. Superman happened. It is by no means a good movie, but I somehow enjoyed it. SPOILERS FOLLOW
  1. 1.
    SUPERMAN IS JESUS WE FUCKING GET IT
    Really? Superman is 33...like Jesus. Get it? Superman dies ( and will eventually come back to life)....like Jesus. Get it? When superman dies there are a bunch of crosses around him...superman is space Jesus. Which is great.
  2. 2.
    Ben Affleck makes a good Batman.
    But Chris Terrio and David Goyer didn't write a good Batman. Batman doesn't kill...for a reason. It's against his principles. This is different from when Superman killed in Man of Steel, as he wasn't Superman yet. This Batman has been Batman for TWENTY YEARS. Also, the characterization (by no fault of Affleck) lacks subtlety, which reminds me
  3. 3.
    Zack Snyder doesn't believe in subtlety.
    Some people don't believe in God. Snyder doesn't believe in subtlety. Every action deserves a close-up and every theme deserves explication. Snyder crafts some indelible images, some of the best out of any superhero movie. But Snyder shows AND tells. And it's frustrating.
  4. 4.
    I don't think Snyder likes his characters
    Snyder keeps trying to reinvent these beloved characters...he's taking a post modern approach before a modern approach has even been broached. Take Jimmy Olson. He's unnamed AND killed off in the beginning of the movie because it would be fun for Snyder. Whereas Marvel treats all of its characters with respect, Snyder will treat them any damn way he wants.
  5. 5.
    Snyder doesn't believe in character development
    When Superman dies, we're supposed to care. We see him save lives (sans ) mope about humanity. But we're never given a reason to care for him. A prodigious history in the medium of comic books doesn't constitute sufficient character development. Why has he taken this approach? I think Snyder views the DC heroes as mythological gods, not human heroes. While that leads to interesting meditations on the nature of man and some Barthes-esque philosophizing, it doesn't create investment in characters.
  6. 6.
    Wonder Woman kicked ass.
    She was simultaneously feminine and strong. One need not take the place of the other. Also, when she smiles during her right with Doomsday? Priceless. Junkie Xl and Hans Zimmer created a great theme for her too.!
  7. 7.
    The fight scenes are...OK
    Batman v. Superman? Honestly not the Supreme Court Case I was expecting, but it was interesting nonetheless. Just short. Like that was a really short fight scene. And when Batman smashes Superman with a sink? Well you can't say Snyder didn't thrown in the kitchen sick!
  8. 8.
    Eisenberg was killer
    Jesse Eisneberg was terrifically entertaining as Lex Luthor. Some deemed him over the top, but he brought a much needed dose of levity and- God forbid- FUN to the proceedings.
  9. 9.
    Plot holes.
    This movie doesn't make sense. Too many plot holes to explain here. Also Doomsday sucked.
  10. 10.
    Why did I still enjoy it?
    Low expectations. At the end of the day, I got to see two superheroes clash and save the day. Could it have been more fun with some banter? Yeah. Could it have been a treatise on post-9/11 foreign policy akin to the Nolan trilogy? Yeah. Is it a comic book movie that made me smile? Yeah. And that's what matters.