1. "Cool, you just wait right there. I'll just wait right here."
    This usually follows my many failed attempts to get the other driver's attention before they invariably block the intersection and, therefore, my left turn.
  2. "Wow. Okay. Sweet"
    Not wow. Not okay. Not sweet.
  3. "Sure, come on in!"
    They're already in.
  4. "Nice move, Prius."
  5. "You know what? You probably need this little 'victory in commuting' more than I do right now on account that my life is going pretty damn well. So, go right ahead...the trophy's yours!"
    Because I'm a condescending dick.