My Mom's Insane Secret Korean Lady Skincare Regimen

  1. 1.
    Turn on Korean soap opera
  2. 2.
    Wash hands with antibiotic hand wash
  3. 3.
    Yell at my dad
  4. 4.
    Wash face with gentle foaming cleanser using teensy tiny circular motions
  5. 5.
    Rinse face with filtered water
  6. 6.
    Apply nighttime vitamin toner
  7. 7.
    Call me while her toner dries
  8. 8.
    Apply secret Korean beauty oil
  9. 9.
    Ask me how to fix the DVR
  10. 10.
    Turn on another episode of Korean soap or switch over to The Voice
    Steps 1 - 9 takes about 25 minutes
  11. 11.
    Tap her face 100 times with her fingertips to increase blood flow
  12. 12.
    Moisturize with two different lotions for different parts of her face
  13. 13.
    Eye cream, eye cream, eye cream
  14. 14.
    The result:
    No makeup at age 66