HELP ME COME UP WITH A HALLOWEEN COSTUME

It's October 12th and I don't have a costume for Halloween. I have a few ideas but would love some recommendations and/or feedback. The only requirements are: 1) I won't shave off my beard (because of a wedding the following weekend, otherwise I would) and 2) I don't want to spend a buttload of money.
  1. Facebook/Twitter/Instagram
    You've seen these at parties before, but probably as tinder. I'd cut the side off of a box, do a little painting/printing and look like my profile.
  2. Wig
    I would wear a (cheap Party City) wig and pretend I have no idea what people are talking about when they bring it up.
  3. A List App List
    Costumes I considered being for Halloween
  4. 60s mission control
    Short sleeve white button up shirt. Skinny black tie. Black pants. Glasses. Radio headset. Make your own nasa id tag
    Suggested by   @dcerruti
  5. Pumpkin Spice Tecate
    Very easy. Very stupid. Step 1: Orange T-Shirt with a pumpkin face drawn on it. Step 2: Carry around tabasco and a Tecate beer. And then 💥boom💥 you are a Pumpkin Spice Tecate.
    Suggested by   @SamuelBishop