Here is a selection of embarrassing moments, lived by yours truly
- •1984 - Breakin'When I was 5, breakdancing happened. I thought I was good at it. Some big kids were poppin' and lock-in', so I forced my way into the center of the circle and did my routine. At first it was cool, but I only had a few moves. The big kids stopped dancing and just sorta stood there staring at me. I got the drift, and tried my greatest move; spinning on my back. I managed only a 1/4 turn and stopped, looking like a dead cockroach. They quickly picked me up and banished me from the circle, laughing.
- •1985 - Rock Me AmadeusOn a snowy winter's day in first grade the entire elementary school piled in to the music room for the recess time fun. A teacher asked if anyone could play something on the piano. Though my only keyboard experience came from a plastic electric organ, I volunteered. I could play the theme to Beverly Hills Cop! I got to the piano and was overwhelmed, I tried to begin, but started many octaves lower than I should have. I kept hitting a low key trying to find my bearings. The whole school laughed.
- •1987 - Boys of SummerLate in my first year of little league, I had a night game. I was a right fielder which meant I saw very little action. In the dugout I had to pee really badly, but ignored it. Soon I was in right field just standing in the dark. Eventually I figured no one would notice and I just let the floodgates open upon my navy blue warmups. The crazy things is, no one seemed to notice or mention anything. Embarrassing in hindsight.
- •2000 - White BeltMy junior year of college. A girl that I liked and I decided we should take karate together. I used to ride my bike to campus in those days. After class on the way out of the gym, my crush and another guy were chatting behind me exchanging numbers. I was super bummed and rushed to my bike as quickly as possible. As I unlocked the bike and got on I heard my friend yell 'Jav!' behind me. I started to pedal furiously, but someone had let the air out of the back tire! I fell hard!