FUN WAYS TO HIDE IMPENDING FLATULENCE

Remember to escape as quickly a possible after doing "the deed".
  1. Make your favorite bird call
  2. Pound on the table and make a random emphatic statement
  3. Make a fart sound with your mouth and declare your dislike for something
  4. Whistle a short simple tune
  5. Say the pledge of allegiance or a similar oath
  6. Sneeze
  7. Look out the window and yell "Oh, no they're here!"
  8. Neigh like a horse
  9. Keep a deflated whoopie cushion in your back pocket. Do the deed. Pull the cushion out of said pocket. Wave it to and fro and say "You guys..." while lightly chucking.