Texts I Haven't Responded To

  1. "I miss you"
  2. "If you're still awake why aren't you here???"
  3. "You remember when I didn't have a three way with you and [redacted]? That's quite a regret."
  4. "I'm on Skype, are you there?"
  5. "Yesterday a large man was worried he wouldn't fit into a kayak. I told him the limit was 450 pounds, and I had much larger people find happiness and comfort on the water. I put him in the kayak, but he initially had to learn his movements. The kayak swayed a bit and pitched starboard and portside.He too eventually found his happiness and comfort."
  6. "False alarm."
  7. "Ooooh the plot thickness"
  8. "Who are you?"
  9. "Waffle haus?"
  10. "and here we are, concertedly not picking ourselves up by our bootstraps."