After recently deleting all of my major social media accounts, I'm taking time to reflect on the reasons why. And also to remind myself why I never need to go back. Here they are:
  1. The Self Righteous Know-It-All
    You know the ones. The friends that inject themselves into every topical conversation to tell you why you're just an uninformed sheep of society by regurgitating the last article they googled: I.e. (There's 8,000 square miles of oceanic dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico, but people are worried about who uses what bathroom. I have no more hope for society).
  2. The Self Proclaimed Hero of Current Events
    So I'm not sure if this one can be generalized, or if it's a strange phenomenon exclusive to my experience. But every time there is a current-event national news headline, there's inevitably one person who posts a status that starts like this: "Now I don't usually get involved with issues on Facebook, but I need to say something here...". Finally! Kevin has broken his silence to show us the way! Thank you so much, Kevin, for taking time out of your busy schedule to impart your wisdom upon us!
  3. The Sorority Girls
    I will note that this one is not exclusive to sorority girls. I just give them this name based on the stigma. I'm talking about any group of girls who take a trip or go out on the town, and chronicle the events with undertones of desperation and sadness. i.e.: (Better get ready Nashville, we're coming!!! 😝 This town won't even be able to handle us!!").... Nashville will be fine, Kristin. It's built to sustain 1.5 million people. I doubt it will even notice 4 drunk girls in fake cowgirl hats
  4. The Political Activist
    Need I say more? Social media is a terrible place to share political opinions. Nobody really wants to debate. A debate would imply that both sides are open minded. People just want to tell you why you're wrong and make unsavory comments about your mother when you disagree with them.
  5. The Gym Bro
    There are no shortage of shirtless gym mirror selfies from dudes on social media. Because nothing exudes self confidence and security like a constant cry for attention. They might also try to camouflage they're vanity under the guise of fitness advocacy. Posting a video of a guy doing squats with one leg, then following it with the always inspirational "what's your excuse?". I don't have one, Brad. Let me finish my ice cream