COOL THINGS TO DO WHILE POOPING
- •Answer all the dumb emails that you are too lazy to answer from your laptop/desktop"Sent from my toilet"
- •Apply a quick-dry base coat of nail polish
- •Finish reading that issue of the New Yorker that's been crumpled up your bag for monthsBest for a work poop -- shit on your employer's dime! (Not literally tho)
- •Pay your internet bill
- •Consider life with a thigh gapDoes pizza not exist? Am I allergic to cheese? Is exercise fun? Are quesadillas less delicious? All scary thoughts.
- •Smoke weedYou're already burning a candle
- •Read the back of a shampoo bottleSodium lauryl sulfates!!!!!
- •Text your mom
- •Enjoy some peace and quietNot applicable if you pooping and: have lots of needy children, are at a rave, I am drunk and ALSO need to poop