THINGS I DO WHEN I WANT TO FEEL GROWN UP

  1. Listen to a dope record
    Ella and Louis, Ella or Louis Again, Like Water for Chocolate, or Black Messiah all have negated the THOUSANDS of times I listened to the Pitch Perfect soundtrack because I needed to pump myself up.
  2. Buy fresh flowers for my kitchen and bedroom
  3. Do something I hate for someone I love
    (This is usually cat related, but I have been known to Seamless a week's worth of dinners "just because.")
  4. Talk about my traditional IRA like I have any idea what it is
  5. Call my parents and try to give them advice
  6. Call my little sisters and let me give me advice
  7. Masturbate in my living room
    It's my apartment!!!! I earned this!
  8. Brag about having both an accountant AND a drug dealer
  9. Tightline my upper eyelids
  10. Clean