An Allergy-Filled Day in the Life

I rarely get sick, but every now and again I'll be hit by what I call "48 Hour Allergies" which is also called tragedy in some cultures. I'll try to take you through a typical day for me during one such episode
  1. 1.
    Wake up
    Seems easy enough...that is until that first breath has the taste of worse things yet to come
  2. 2.
    Wake up
    Seems easy enough...that is until that first breath has the taste of worse things yet to come
  3. 3.
    Sneeze
    Get used to this, it will be happening a lot
  4. 4.
    Wallow
  5. 5.
    Get a good 15+ sneeze streak going
    You will wonder if you're dying, this is normal. You are, but this always happens. You'll be okay (probably)
  6. 6.
    Get a good 15+ sneeze streak going
    You will wonder if you're dying, this is normal. You are, but this always happens. You'll be okay (probably)
  7. 7.
    Gauge if it's worth it to get up for the tissues
    They're at the foot of the bed and you know you need them, but something is keeping you from moving at all
  8. 8.
    Decide to get the tissues
    Upon standing up, things take a turn
  9. 9.
    SNEEZE
    Try your best not to turn while in this seemingly never ending sneezing fit. You're already screwed, don't add a pulled muscle to the equation. Besides, how are you going to explain that you pulled a muscle sneezing to anyone you want to ever take you seriously again? Huh? How????
  10. 10.
    Sneeze some more
  11. 11.
    Try to go outside and run an errand
    You still have things to do after all. The world doesn't stop because the allergy gremlins wrote your name in blood (or however allergies work)
  12. 12.
    Upon changing environments, sneeze a lot
    The second you're face touches the outdoor air, you're toast. You will sneeze, yes. People will see you sneeze, yes. People will see you seeing them see you sneezing, yes. It's gonna be ugly, but bite your tongue and try not to make a face or sneeze on anyone. Keyword: try
  13. 13.
    Return back as quickly as possible
    Odds are, the thing you needed to do was closed or out of reach. Ergo, you aggravated your allergies for nothing. Oh well. Try and get some rest champ
  14. 14.
    Return back as quickly as possible
    Odds are, the thing you needed to do was closed or out of reach. Ergo, you aggravated your allergies for nothing. Oh well. Try and get some rest champ
  15. 15.
    Sneeze to the point of medical concern
    You're no rookie. You know this is gonna be bad, just prepare yourself. By now, you're starting your second box of tissues and your trashcan is full because every tissue you throw from your bed goes into the trashcan (#Buckets). Since there won't be any misfires to pick up off the floor because, again, #Buckets, just push the tissues down to save space and keep on surviving.
  16. 16.
    Eat A LOT
    I'm a pretty rare case in the fact that my appetite explodes when I'm having an allergy episode. So hopefully I've got snacks handy, because they will be gone soon and leaving my room again is out of the question. After about 3 bags of popcorn, the growling should subside
  17. 17.
    Try to watch something
    You will fall asleep without realizing it and the program will keep autoplaying episodes while you sleep. Just try to remember where you were before you slept upon awakening
  18. 18.
    Draft up a will
    You don't have a lot to give loved ones, but it's always good to have a plan in case you don't survive this episode. Make a new draft every time the allergies hit. It's sort of like sleeping on an idea. You'll get new ways to divide up your assets each time you face a sneeze induced death
  19. 19.
    Realize the sun is setting
    Congratulations! You nearly survived a day your allergies wish you wouldn't have. Almost time to turn in
  20. 20.
    Take allergy medicine
    The medicine you know you should've taken the day before to prevent this mess, but you're fairly certain would've happened anyway was in your bathroom all along
  21. 21.
    Take allergy medicine
    The medicine you know you should've taken the day before to prevent this mess, but you're fairly certain would've happened anyway was in your bathroom all along
  22. 22.
    Sleep
    Or will you???
  23. 23.
    THE SNEEZING FITS
    After about 1 AM, you will wake up every hour on the hour to sneeze, shiver a bit, and wrap up in blankets hoping this will all be over soon. It won't be, but it's nice to be optimistic during times such as these. Fits continue until 7 AM
  24. 24.
    If this is first day of 48 hours, repeat previous steps
    If it's the second day, hurray! You survived. Breathe through your nose to remind yourself that you can in fact do that and go about your day. You've earned it