THINGS MY PHONE FILED IN "SELFIES" ALBUM THAT AREN'T ME

  1. Many, many photos of my cat. (Arguable tbh)
  2. Video of a light shining through a ceiling fan.
  3. Photo of a blood splat on my arm where I killed a mosquito.
  4. A peach.
  5. Photo of a stuffed felt doll my friend made. (Does not resemble me.)
  6. One photo of my boyfriend. (Arguable if I feel like making you barf.)
  7. Photo of the neon sign at the Dream House, where you are not supposed to take photos.
  8. Photo of a kitten, not mine.
  9. A few photos of my face, but I'm outnumbered by the cat.