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  1. The GOP has agreed to acquire Yahoo.
  2. Carly Fiorina will supervise the layoff of 3m tea partiers
  3. #GOP will acquire Twitter for $50/share
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I love Star Wars and I'm jazzed about the upcoming sequels, but after seeing the latest trailer and reading about it, I have to admit some of it is well, interesting
  1. Han & Chewy still together?
    Ok 30 years after ROJ and Han and chewy are still together? They are approaching old age and unmarried, although it's unclear if they cohabitate. I guess there are many things Obi wan never told us? #wookiesexual
  2. Kylo Ren gently stroking Darth Vader's penis head shaped helmet.
    In the trailer, the villain kylo Ren is shown doing this gently and reassuringly. What is that about?
  3. Plot: search for lukes lost light saber
    If you read the various fan sites, an important part of the plot is the search for lukes lost light saber. So, essentially the characters are searching for a phallic shaped object???
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All of these musicians were left handed, age 27 and had in their possession a white Bic lighter when they died. You do the math... lol
  1. Jim Morrison
  2. Kurt Cobain
  3. Jimi Hendrix
  4. Janis Joplin
  1. "We are building for greatness"
    Yaaaaawwwwn. Go fuck yourself
  2. "Killing it"
    No you're not.
  3. "We really want to institute best practices and create best of breed [blank]"
    Feel like picture --->
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Some of my favorite cliches from the profiles of women on Tinder.
  1. 1.
    "Love my family and friends"
    Really???? Wow. That's interesting. Not a lot of people really love their friends and family. You are a special and unique snowflake. Aren't ya?
  2. 2.
    "If you are looking for a hookup, swipe left."
    Lol! Like that line ever stopped guys or YOU.
  3. 3.
    "Love to travel"
    Translates basically "I'll like you if you take me places and pay for it. I'm not as easy as Netflix and chill."
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  1. "No. Seriously, you're just accusing me because I am Ukrainian"
  2. "No. What do I look like? A Liberal?"
  3. "No and even if I did know who did it, i wouldn't tell. I'm not a snitch"
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  1. I never believe anyone when they say the stove is hot.
  2. Just my way of "sticking it to the man!"
  3. I honestly, but naively expected a different result
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All the shit that was literally more important that I put off while I was making lists.
  1. Editing that startup product spec
  2. Rolling over and combining my various 401ks
  3. Cleaning the cat's litter box
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This was inspired by @charlie list. Upfront, at first, I hated snapchat. I thought it was pointless, but the stories feature changed everything.
  1. 1.
    Users can not have a bad experience.
    On most social apps, you leave yourself open for all sorts of trolling and shitty behavior from other users. On snapchat, there are no comments and no possibility someone can say something terrible that lives on line forever. You just get the positive feedback that people are looking at your stuff.
  2. 2.
    No follower counts
    One of the biggest problems and obstacles to getting users to participate is that on most social apps, you are very clearly how unimportant you are. Kim Kardashian has 5m followers and you have three (one of which is your mom). The insecurity that comes from this dis incentivizes users from creating content. Why would you? Snap chat gets rid of this.
  3. 3.
    No profile means no permanent record.
    Social media profiles are passé. Everyone carefully curates their Facebook and other profiles to make their lives look amazing and adventurous. We all know it's not true and it's annoying. Snapchat is more real and raw.
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Why Apple? Why?
  1. 💉 need my heroin fix?
  2. 👘come dressed as a geisha?
  3. 📟 hit me up on my 1999 sky pager?
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