Some of my favorite cliches from the profiles of women on Tinder.
  1. 1.
    "Love my family and friends"
    Really???? Wow. That's interesting. Not a lot of people really love their friends and family. You are a special and unique snowflake. Aren't ya?
  2. 2.
    "If you are looking for a hookup, swipe left."
    Lol! Like that line ever stopped guys or YOU.
  3. 3.
    "Love to travel"
    Translates basically "I'll like you if you take me places and pay for it. I'm not as easy as Netflix and chill."
  4. 4.
    "LOVE football"
    My dating life sucks so bad that at this point I'm willing to entertain 4-6 hours each Sunday listening to you drone on about fantasy football and whatever else so long as I don't have to be on this app any more.
  5. 5.
    "Love binge watching Netflix"
    Translates as "I won't Netflix and chill with you, but if you commit to watching the entire House of Cards season with me, sex is definitely not out of the question."
  6. 6.
    "Love animals. Extra points if you have a dog"
    Translation "my mom thinks I need a boyfriend, but what i truly want is a dog, but I'm too irresponsible to take care of a dog. So, I'll take the boyfriend with a dog and enjoy the dog and leave the responsibilities to him"
  7. 7.
    "Easy going, drama free"
    Ha! If that were the case, you wouldn't be scrapping the Tinder barrel my love. You are here because you are not "easy going" and this is your last stop on the dating train.
  8. 8.
    "Love hiking and the outdoors"
    Probably more aspirational than reality.
  9. 9.
    "Seeking a partner in crime"
    Yaaaawwwwn. You don't look like you'd do very well in jail.