1. It's been like 45min since my last meal. Wtf breh
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  2. Why must you insist on sleeping in bed with me
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  3. But your balled up socks are so tasty!
  4. It really upsets me when you force me to sit down in the back seat. AND WTF TAKE THE CHILD LOCK OFF THE WINDOWS BACK HERE PLZ!!!
  5. It's 7am on a Saturday and you're still in bed SO IM GONNA BREATHE HEAVILY ON YOUR FACE FOR A LITTLE BIT
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  6. Omg are you gonna finish your sandwich? PS I love you
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  7. Um you just drove past the park?! If we are going to the vet... I swear to god...
  8. 😒... The second this bath is over I'm gonna roll around like a lunatic because FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAAHHA
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  9. Lolz I can do anything cuz I'm cute cute cute 🙈🐶😬😬😬😬😬
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  10. I have successfully learned all of the secret code words you use for "cookie". TREAT SNACK FOOD LUNCH NUMMIE NUMMIES IM LIKE A FUCKIN THESAURUS LOL OMNOMNOM
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  11. The only thing protecting you from a handful of shit is a thin layer of plastic 💩💩💩
  12. I luv you so much you're my favorite
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