1. The shower
    Water can sometimes make things rub weirdly against other things and I get woozy if I have to stand for too long
  2. An airplane
    Excuse me, I fly coach. With screaming babies, drunk smelly men and flight attendants with emphysema named Flo
  3. Your workplace
    Mixing weird repressed anger and sexual pleasure is very confusing
  4. Holiday dinners with the family
    Cousin Timmy doesn't always knock before entering a room... Especially when you're mid quickie before pie
  5. A car
    Bare butts rubbing on leather seats makes for awkward fart noises aplenty
  6. A boat
    I get motion sickness
  7. A movie theater
    I got a handjob during Big Daddy once. I am now unable to sit through an Adam sandler movie without getting a semi
  8. On camera
    All fun and games til you save it on your computer where the government can take it so they can giggle at your penis
  9. Outside
    Whether on a beach or in a field, you two will not be wo small annoying organisms.
    Suggested by @jennienina