2016 Presidential Candidates *RANKED* by a Cannibal
As we get closer and closer to the general election, it's important to see the candidates through many lenses. In that spirit, we asked our in-house cannibal to rank the presidential candidates by how deliciously their flesh could be prepared. Here are the results!
- 3.Donald TrumpHe's essentially human lutefisk. I don't trust myself to wash the poisonous lye used to accelerate the removal of moisture from the sinewy flesh properly. His liver is probably pretty tasty though!
- 2.Hillary ClintonI could make some interesting use of her brain. But her diet will render much of her flesh bland and flavorless.
- 1.Bernie SandersHave you ever heard of coq au vin? Well Senator Sanders is DEFINITELY the human equivalent of that. Plus his time in Vermont will have imparted a subtle maple flavor to his flesh.