2016 Presidential Candidates *RANKED* by a Cannibal

As we get closer and closer to the general election, it's important to see the candidates through many lenses. In that spirit, we asked our in-house cannibal to rank the presidential candidates by how deliciously their flesh could be prepared. Here are the results!
  1. 3.
    Donald Trump
    He's essentially human lutefisk. I don't trust myself to wash the poisonous lye used to accelerate the removal of moisture from the sinewy flesh properly. His liver is probably pretty tasty though!
  2. 2.
    Hillary Clinton
    I could make some interesting use of her brain. But her diet will render much of her flesh bland and flavorless.
  3. 1.
    Bernie Sanders
    Have you ever heard of coq au vin? Well Senator Sanders is DEFINITELY the human equivalent of that. Plus his time in Vermont will have imparted a subtle maple flavor to his flesh.