Donald Trump's Policy Agenda

Real Estate "billionaire" Donald J. Trump has secured the Republican Party's nomination for the Presidential election. For a long time, this seemed like a far fetched and ridiculous idea. But the prospect of a Trump presidency is a real one. Let's examine what that presidency would look like with an examination of the candidate's policy priorities!
  1. Manufacturing acceptable excuses for not constructing a wall
    Trump has risen to political prominence on his vow to build a wall along the US border with Mexico and to make Mexico pay for it. Leaving aside the xenophobic racial politics of this, the whole idea is insane. So, in order to maintain the support of scared white people, the Trump administration will have to concoct a wide, but believable conspiracy theory for why such a ludicrous idea would be left unfinished.
  2. Winning
    Donald Trump's whole... thing is predicated on winning. In the book that acts more or less as a collection of Trump's policy papers, Crippled America, the Donald really hammers home the point that America needs to start "winning" again. The idea is not particularly well elaborated upon. So how will he make "winning" a policy priority? Presumably by offering the US military trophies for stuff?
  3. Finger surery
    Trump will pressure congress to allocate funds to medical research in the field of finger lengthening. "My fingers are fine," the candidate has reportedly said. "Beautiful even! I am just concerned for the sad losers and haters whose fingers are sub-normal."
  4. A constitutional redefinition of the word "billionaire"
    There are a lot of things that can be said about Trump. Most of those things are bad. Pretty much the only nice thing regularly said about Trump is that he is a very wealthy man. He takes enormous pride in his status as a billionaire. He claims to be worth a staggering $10 billion, but those estimates seem to be incorrect. Some have suggested he's worth short of a billion dollars! So, he will push for a constitutional amendment defining "billionaire" as "someone with a great deal of money."
  5. Racism