Tonight, CNN hosted a town hall with all three remaining republican presidential candidates in advance of the Wisconsin primary next Tuesday. Let's see how their statements measure up to the truth!
  1. Ted Cruz - "My uncle killed my father by having his hyena friends start a stampede, then pushing my father into the path of the river of wildebeest."
    Cruz's father is still alive. This is a plot point from the Disney animated film The Lion King.
  2. Donald Trump - "I was born somewhere near Samarra, Iraq on July 28, 1971. I have a PhD in Islamic Studies from the Islamic University of Baghdad."
    Trump is once again confusing himself with Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the self-proclaimed caliph of the so-called Islamic State.
  3. John Kasich - "Oh man! You need Coachella tickets? Let me talk to my cousin. He knows a guy who can hook you up."
    His cousin's guy is a huge flake.