PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES RANKED BY HOW SIMILAR THEIR NAMES ARE TO PENÉLOPE CRUZ'S

The primaries are in full swing, and some folks out there just don't know who to vote for. So we're laying out all the candidates' various qualifications! Here are the candidates definitively ranked by how similar their names are to that of Spanish actress Penélope Cruz!
  1. 6.
    John Kasich
    Not very much like Penélope Cruz at all!
  2. 5.
    Hillary Clinton
    Both last names start with a "C," but in the grand scheme of things is not all that much to have in common.
  3. 4.
    Donald Trump
    They both have a "u" two letters in to their last names.
  4. 3.
    Marco Rubio
    Both of their last names contain a long "u" sound.
  5. 2.
    Ted Cruz
    These two actually SHARE a last name!
  6. 1.
    Bernélope Sanders
    Few people realize that Senator Sanders's first name is actually Bernélope. But it is, and that's very similar to Penélope!