Tips for Beating that Summer Heat!

The dog days of summer are fast approaching, and with our planet going through its violent climatic death-rattle, it is SURE to get hot. Here are some fresh tips on how to stay cool out there! (For even more tips, check here:
  1. 1.
    Get plenty of refreshing fruit!
    There's nothing better than the crisp acidic sweetness of an orange to refresh on a sweltering summer day!
  2. 2.
    Stay hydrated!
    You lose a lot of water and electrolytes to sweat in the oppressive summer heat! Doctor's recommend 2 liters of fluid a day, which is approximately three bottles of wine.
  3. 3.
    Chill out in the tub!
    Run a cold bath! Drink some wine! Consider it a spa day!
  4. 4.
    Dress appropriately!
    You want to wear clothes that won't hold too much heat against your skin so you can freely run through the Lord's barren desert.
  5. 5.
    Appeal to the lord your God so he may save us from this wretched planet!
    It is the only course we have.