We Dosed The Presidential Candidates With Ayahuasca. Here's What They Said

As we get closer to the general election, it's important for voters to get a full picture of the candidates. So we sent them each on a inward journey of self-exploration by making them drink the powerful hallucinogenic tea called ayahuasca. Here's how they responded.
  1. Hillary Clinton
    "I am a laser guided missile. I soar over the desert stands and strike my target, a wedding party in Yemen. But I don't explode. Now I ravage a hospital in Afghanistan. Now I'm Vince Foster, and... No! Bill! It's me! Don't shoot me, Bill! Sidney Blumenthal puts a damp cloth over my face. It's over."
  2. Ted Cruz
    "This soup is gross. I'm only going to buy fifty cans."
  3. John Kasich
    "It's Nixon. He's saying 'they're crooks. They're all crooks. Bathe in their entrails!'"
  4. Bernie Sanders
    "Ha! You pussies got anything stronger?"
  5. Donald Trump
    "What if... What if we're ALL fired, man?"