Things I'd like to say to my neighbor

  1. Ph.D.? Oh, I thought you were just an So.B.
  2. Go back to Italy, professore.
  3. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my dignity. Prepare to die.
  4. 15 minutes does not a "run" make, asshole. Try a 3:30 marathon. Yeah. I did that.
  5. Would you like to see the x-rays showing the titanium now holding my skeleton together? Excuse me if its a little difficult going up flights of stairs to take the garbage out.
  6. You picked the wrong passive-aggressive bitch to tattle tale on.
  7. If you're not friends with Elena Ferrante, and you're not, your degree means shit.
  8. I can write circles around you so like I care.
  9. Get ready for some serious guerrilla warfare, suck-ah