People I've Heard/seen at My Airport Gate to Nashville Today Before 5:30 Am

I'm a little foggy this morning, but there's lots happening over here at gate A15 to report. #EWR
  1. The bachelorette party group
    Sipping soy lattes, one dressed in white, discussing fake tanning options. One dressed in white loudly discussing her insecurities about not wanting children. Also loudly saying "kids fucking suck" around kids and adults with kids.
  2. The bachelor party group
    Bros, and stuff. Lots of baseball hats and biceps. Half of them almost didn't make it. Not affiliated with bachelorette party group, but many looks have been exchanged.
  3. The business traveler
    Dressed Friday casual. Carrying a charcoal charactuer of what looks like her son and daughter. Probably from those guys who line Central Park. It's sweet.
  4. The couple who's almost married
    Probably going to visit some family. Possibly her shower weekend. Complaining that people were "horrible and added things to her registry that were, like, not on there." Fiancé looks irritated. Run, buddy.
  5. The girl who is gluten free
    And is loudly discussing how amazing the gluten free bread at Costco is, so if you're gluten free, *tip alert*! She's also said the word almond so much I wish I was playing a drinking game.
  6. The family who just had a long week in NYC
    And also had to wake up and figure out how to get to Newark airport by 4:45 AM. Kids watching iPads, mom and dad look DONE.
  7. The girl who says Va-jay-jay
    And "fashion forward" in the same sentence. Do people really say va-jay-jay in real life? She's also very worried about staying hydrated. This is weird. I don't like hearing her voice anymore.