1. The Lost Bashful Tourist
    The steps: wander the dance floor, peaking over and around people. Then ah-ha'ing and quick stepping in one direction before casually changing directions to wonder again. All while smiling brightly, no eye contact. To the beat
  2. The Asthmatic
    Dance wildly and with abandon for 10 seconds. Put hands on knees for beat then quickly jamb hands in pockets obviously pretending to look for something while taking in giant heaves of breath
  3. Dead Arms
    Let arms hang at lifeless at sides. Sway torso back and force, letting arms swing with inertia. Jerk torso quicker, let arms swing wildly.
  4. Middle school Memories
    Running man, the worm, bad break dancing. Go all there.
  5. The Awkward Partner
    Strut onto the dance floor making a dance queen ruckus: all smiles, winks and "hey-there" gun hand signs. LOCK eyes with someone- male or female- and go deadly serious. Slow jam towards them. Pelvic first.
  6. Carb Loading
    Survey the dance floor. Find a couple grinding... Eaaase up from behind. Complete the sandwich.
  7. The 70 hour work week
    Foot Loose that shit. You: Kevin Bacon Motivation: you've just been set free from a dance-less life