TEN THINGS I HAVE IN COMMON WITH CHARLIE BROWN

In honor of seeing the new PEANUTS movie on opening weekend, I humbly offer this new list.
  1. 1.
    I have big, round bald head
  2. 2.
    I have a dog who's pretty darn smart
  3. 3.
    I'm my own worst critic
  4. 4.
    I'm the kind of guy people give rocks to for Halloween
  5. 5.
    I've read Tolstoy on New Years Eve
  6. 6.
    I was once in love with a Little Red Haired Girl
  7. 7.
    I married Lucy Van Pelt (right, Heather?), but she rarely pulls the football away (anymore).
  8. 8.
    I could afford to be a little more like Linus (couldn't we all?)
  9. 9.
    I loved baseball when I was a kid, but I was a terrible athlete
  10. 10.
    My life is one long existential crisis