Criterion 4 Kidz
  1. Smart house
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    The year. 1998. The place: a house of your dreams. Really, a house that seemed to specialize in smoothie preparation. To this day, I believe the younger sister character fucked the house up with all the smoothies she ordered. For fuck's sake - use a blender and let the house do important things like impressing the panties off hot girls and scaring away bullies with holograms of sculls.
  2. Zenon
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    People say that the first woman in space was Sally Ride. I say, the first woman of IMPORTANCE was Zenon who saved the space station from not having some sort of live music concert (I think that's the plot?) Zenon had a little microchip earring that fascinated my latent gay mind. Very colorful, very sheik.
  3. Don't Look Under the Bed
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    Earnestly can say I had a crush on the red headed chick in this movie. And it was scary.
  4. the one where he's a Mermaid
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    Another DCOM that had a cute male protagonist that made me feel weird things and fed my closeted little mind. Compared to the sad, hyper-Jewish bar mitzvah process, turning into a fish-man seemed sexy and exotic by comparison.
  5. The one where Frankie Munez is in a wheelchair, I think
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    Insanely powerful film where I think he's in a wheelchair or maybe he's on the spectrum. Admittedly, never watched this one ALL the way through but man - Kid's Choice award for best Male Performance in a Drama for Mr. Munez, ammirite?
  6. Halloweentown
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    Remember watching this while learning about WWII in elementary school. As a result, I saw the film's portrayal of the witches as an allegory for Jews in Nazi Germany. Pretty Powerful Stuff.
  7. Brink
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    Another one with latent homosexual vibes. All about masculinity and getting sweaty in Venice beach piers. Really dug it.