Criterion 4 Kidz
  1. Smart house
    The year. 1998. The place: a house of your dreams. Really, a house that seemed to specialize in smoothie preparation. To this day, I believe the younger sister character fucked the house up with all the smoothies she ordered. For fuck's sake - use a blender and let the house do important things like impressing the panties off hot girls and scaring away bullies with holograms of sculls.
  2. Zenon
    People say that the first woman in space was Sally Ride. I say, the first woman of IMPORTANCE was Zenon who saved the space station from not having some sort of live music concert (I think that's the plot?) Zenon had a little microchip earring that fascinated my latent gay mind. Very colorful, very sheik.
  3. Don't Look Under the Bed
    Earnestly can say I had a crush on the red headed chick in this movie. And it was scary.
  4. the one where he's a Mermaid
    Another DCOM that had a cute male protagonist that made me feel weird things and fed my closeted little mind. Compared to the sad, hyper-Jewish bar mitzvah process, turning into a fish-man seemed sexy and exotic by comparison.
  5. The one where Frankie Munez is in a wheelchair, I think
    Insanely powerful film where I think he's in a wheelchair or maybe he's on the spectrum. Admittedly, never watched this one ALL the way through but man - Kid's Choice award for best Male Performance in a Drama for Mr. Munez, ammirite?
  6. Halloweentown
    Remember watching this while learning about WWII in elementary school. As a result, I saw the film's portrayal of the witches as an allegory for Jews in Nazi Germany. Pretty Powerful Stuff.
  7. Brink
    Another one with latent homosexual vibes. All about masculinity and getting sweaty in Venice beach piers. Really dug it.