THINGS I NEED TO DO BEFORE WRITING MY THESIS
- •Watch every episode of Gilmore Girls
- •Paint my toenails, even though it's too cold for sandals and no one will see them except my boyfriend, and not really even him, cause I wear warm socks all the damn time.
- •PM my seventh grade crush on Facebook and like, see how life is treating him, and apologize for all the prank calls. Fifteen years later is better than never.
- •Make a homemade strawberry pie, even the crust, because buying pre-made crust is Busch league bullshit.
- •Write a profound and contemplative entry in my poop journal, while pooping, obviously, so this one's a two-fer.
- •Get right with the library.
- •Compose long and heartfelt raps to be performed for friends' upcoming birthdays.
- •Reread the Harry Potter series while substituting the word wang for wand and laughing to myself every time.