conversations my ex has initiated since our breakup
(installment #4 of bitter breakup drafts)
- •six days out: "hoping you get to work from home today. stay safe out there"there was a big snow storm that weekend and i did not in fact get to work from home
- •two weeks later: a tweet (not his) sorting presidents into hogwarts housesit didn't even name the presidents, just listed their houses in order
- •two months later: "hey how are you"sure w/e
- •a week later: a screenshot of a facebook post about chemtrails from someone we went to high school with that i 100% do not recalllike???? this is p irrelevant to me
- •another two months: tacked onto a thanks-for-the-birthday-message, "also i wanted to see if you don't mind if i message you? sometimes i see things that i think you would find funny and want to send them, but i don't want to bother you"in hind sight i guess this is nice and basically means "is it ok if i talk to you" but i could only see half of it in the preview and worked myself up to write an essay about our complicated relationship and what hurt me while we were dating and what hurt me in our breakup and why we probably shouldn't be friends but then i opened the fb message and it was basically just "is it cool if i send you memes?" so :)
- •a week after that: "fitz has been the low key star of the DNC"particularly infuriating bc i made him watch scandal and he was perpetually behind and also i hate fitz
- •another week later: a link to that gallery of nature images with master of none subtitlesit was funny and i hadn't seen it but like??? you don't have any other friends you can send funny things to?
- •plus two days: "can i ask you something i've been really curious about? is your mom for trump?"you don't get to ask about and silently scorn my mom's personal politics any more
- •another three days: "twains is gone. 😞 it's a sharkys now"i know i literally drove by the day before????? this wasn't our spot why are you telling me
- •a month later: "hey happy birthday!"i said thanks the next day and the message wasn't marked as seen until i messaged him again two months later
- •total tally: ten conversations over eleven months
- •tbh i am almost embarrassed by how many more conversations i initiated (three thousand) considering i am the one that got dumped. like how fucking numb and sad and desperately "i am so casual bc i am not at all emotionally affected" does a girl have to be.